Written prior to the first convention, at Pontins, Brean Sands, in 2002.
He bought a barrel of zyder
From the farm 'round the corner
They didn't stop him
Seein' 'e were local
He drove the camper
Dot com sign on the bumper
To a hall full of music
And a crowd full of wonder
And some of the people that he thought that he knew
Were never like this where the mailing lists rule
He'd never been anywhere like this before
Everybody so proud and enthralled
He was in a back room
Full of scrumpy and cheddar
And mugs without handles
That was where they found him
They threw him in the garden
Full of raving vikings
And he could smell the oil in the sea
And see the succulent light from the little fires
In his eyes burning shapes into the night
He weren't half wasted
And it's twelve o'clock and the balance has gone
They're gonna go crazy when he sings "Gi's a bun!"
And higher is lower as arse impacts floor
He'd never been anywhere as pissed before, before
And then it was yesterday
And Steve said, "Oh, by the way"
"Welcome to our first party"
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